Wowee!

Which of the five senses would be the worst for you to lose, and why?

Sun, 07 Mar 2004 08:26:55 GMT

This is a bit of a stupid question, isn't it? Sounds like something Arthur would ask. It would be unfortunate to lose any sense. Why? Because without hearing, you could not hear rock 'n' roll, and without touch, you could only have sensationally meaningless sex, and without seeing you couldn't see Eccentrica Gallumbits' third breast, and without taste you couldn't tell the difference between one alcoholic drink and another, and without smell you couldn't tell when a Vogon was coming if you were turned the other way.

Now, while maybe the first four are all pleasure, clearly the last one is all about remaining alive, and that means that it's the least important.

Now rock 'n' roll, drinking, and Eccentrica Gallumbits' third breast are all things that make life worth living to the fullest, but then, what would be the point of rock 'n' roll, drinking, or Eccentrica Gallumbits' third breast without the potentially meaningless (but sensational!) sex?

There wouldn't BE one!

That said, touch would be the worst to lose.

And since Vogons can still recite poetry, if I could lose one sense, I'd probably lose hearing, because Vogon poetry is just that bad. You know?

(Was it good for you?)

Muse: Ford Prefect
Fandom: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Sun, 07 Mar 2004 07:24:12 GMT

Here follows the first entry of Ford Prefect in the Theatrical Muse's Guide to the Galaxy, dated 14 Dec 2003 01:58am Earth Time:

Holy zarking dingo's kidneys!

As a roving researcher for the Guide I certainly think I'll be needing two things:
1. A place to collect thoughts, such as here, and
2. A drink.

Now obviously I cannot do the former unless someone treats me to the latter so I have to ask...any takers? I'll be willing to review restaurateurs for the Guide in exchange for regular meals and a towel for my ape comerade Arthur Dent, preferrably with reinforced seams and perhaps with nutrients soaked into the different colored stripes.

I just got mine at Marks and Spencer but I did spill a bit of tea on it once so I find it does taste rather good.

Things I like: Free drinks; free food; free towels; free clothes; free lodging; free sex. Things I dislike: Vogons; Zaphod Beeblebrox.

Or, your friendly neighhbourhood doubtful_salmon, a big fan of Douglas Adams' work, both Dirk Gently and Hitchhiker's Guide alike.

The first entry is located here and doubtful_salmon feels very idiotic for forgetting how to spell "seams" the first time around.

Mon, 15 Dec 2003 23:41:14 GMT

I am feeling particularly bored today. Parallel Universe Earth #17 has Return of the King premiering tomorrow, which I have heard so much about from sneak showing on Betelgeuse IX that I have a great desire to see it. I've heard much about J.R.R. Tolkien from said place as well. [Geeks.]

Perhaps I shall take next shuttle to wormhole and see. I'll just...skip out on work.

Hmmm...unless the Guide needs database entry about J.R.R. Tolkien?

Oh, Zarquon. Zaphod knocking on window. Probably running from local authorities again.

I would stay and talk, but I would also like to watch him scream like a two-headed, three-armed girl and that (unfortunately for Zaphod) strongly overpowers any desire to keep relatives intact and be a good person.

Ethics, schmethics.